{"id":364,"date":"2024-11-05T16:16:33","date_gmt":"2024-11-05T16:16:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/momentsunfolded.com\/?p=364"},"modified":"2024-11-05T16:16:36","modified_gmt":"2024-11-05T16:16:36","slug":"i-found-photos-of-me-with-a-newborn-but-i-dont-remember-ever-being-pregnant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momentsunfolded.com\/archives\/364","title":{"rendered":"I Found Photos of Me with a Newborn, but I Don\u2019t Remember Ever Being Pregnant"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I opened a box of forgotten photos while cleaning the attic and found pictures of me holding a tiny newborn, my eyes brimming with love. But I\u2019d never been pregnant, let alone given birth. I decided to investigate, unaware I must face a truth that would shatter me to the core.\n

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A few weeks ago, I was cleaning the attic when I pulled an old box from the shelf. It was labeled \u201cPhotos \u2013 Keep\u201d in my handwriting, though I had no memory of marking it. Dust motes danced in the bright light as I nervously opened the box.\n\n

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\"An\n\n\n\n
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Inside, memories spilled out in glossy 4\u00d76 prints: my college graduation with Mom and Dad beaming beside me, our wedding day with Daniel spinning me around the dance floor, and countless summer barbecues at the lake house.\n\n

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Then, everything STOPPED.\n\n

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There I was, in a hospital bed, cradling a newborn baby. My hair was plastered to my forehead with sweat, dark circles under my eyes, but my expression\u2026 I was gazing at that tiny bundle with such raw, pure love that it took my breath away.\n\n

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More photos followed \u2014 me holding the baby against my chest, touching its impossibly small fingers, crying as I looked into its face. In another, I was feeding the baby, my finger trapped in its tiny fist.\n\n

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But that was impossible. I\u2019d never had a baby. Never been pregnant. NEVER.\u00a0Then how was this possible?\n\n

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I sank to the attic floor, surrounded by the scattered photos. My hands shook as I examined each one closely, searching for signs of manipulation or editing.\n\n

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But they were real\u2026 the paper was aged and the corners slightly worn.\n\n

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In one picture, a distinctive mustard-yellow chair sat in the corner of the hospital room, and the curtains had an odd geometric pattern I recognized.\n\n

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It was St. Mary\u2019s Hospital, the same hospital where we\u2019d visited my aunt after her hip surgery last year.\n\n

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Daniel was at work, and I was grateful for the solitude as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. These photos showed a moment that should have been the most significant part of my life.\n\n

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But I remembered nothing. Not a single second.\n\n

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My hands wouldn\u2019t stop shaking as I gathered the photos and grabbed my car keys as soon as Daniel left for work the following morning.\n\n

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I didn\u2019t ask him anything as I wanted to find out about this mysterious baby on my own.\n\n

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The hospital parking lot was nearly empty at 11 a.m. on that pleasant Tuesday. I sat in my car for five minutes, clutching the photos to my chest and trying to gather the courage to go inside.\n\n

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A young mother walked past pushing a stroller, and my chest tightened with an emotion I couldn\u2019t name.\n\n

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The reception area smelled of antiseptic and floor cleaner. A young woman with bright blue scrubs and a butterfly-shaped name tag looked up as I approached.\n\n

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\u201cHi,\u201d I said. \u201cI need to access some old records of mine.\u201d\n\n

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\u201cLook at this,\u201d I then added, showing her the pictures. \u201cWhose baby is this? Why am I holding it? I don\u2019t remember anything. What\u2019s happening?\u201d\n\n

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Without answering, she typed something on her phone and then frowned at her screen. Her fingers paused over the keypad.\n\n

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\u201cOne moment, please!\u201d she said, disappearing into a back office, whispering urgently to someone.\n\n

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An older nurse emerged, her hair pulled back in a neat bun, her name tag reading \u201cNancy, Head Nurse.\u201d Her eyes held a mix of concern and recognition that made my stomach twist.\n\n

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\u201cMiss, we do have records for you here, but we\u2019ll need to contact your husband before we can discuss them.\u201d\n\n

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My stomach dropped. \u201cWhat? Why?\u201d\n\n

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\u201cHospital policy, in cases like this. Please, let me call him now.\u201d\n\n

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\u201cNo, these are my medical records. I have a right to know\u2014\u201d\n\n

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But Nancy was already picking up the phone, her eyes never leaving my face. She dialed, and I heard the ring through the receiver.\n\n

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\u201cSir? This is Nancy from St. Mary\u2019s Hospital. Yes\u2026 your wife Angela is here requesting access to some medical records. Yes\u2026 I see\u2026 Could you come down right away? Yes, it\u2019s about that\u2026 Thank you.\u201d\n\n

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My hands clenched into fists. \u201cYou know my husband? You have his number?\u201d\n\n

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\u201cHe\u2019ll be here in 20 minutes. Would you like some water while you wait?\u201d\n\n

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\u201cNo. I want answers.\u201d\n\n

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I sank into a plastic chair, the photos clutched to my chest.\n\n

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Every minute that ticked by on the waiting room clock felt like an eternity. When Daniel finally arrived, still in his work clothes, his face was ashen. He\u2019d clearly driven here at full speed.\n\n

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\u201cAngela??\u201d\n\n

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\u201cWhat\u2019s going on, Dan? Why do they have your number? Why won\u2019t they talk to me without you?\u201d\n\n

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He turned to Nancy. \u201cIs Dr. Peters available?\u201d\n\n

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The doctor\u2019s office was small, with certificates covering one wall and a small window overlooking the parking lot. Dr. Peters was a middle-aged woman with kind eyes and worry lines around her mouth. She folded her hands on her desk as we sat down.\n\n

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\u201cTell her,\u201d Dr. Peters said. \u201cYour wife deserves to know everything.\u201d\n\n

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My heart hammered against my ribs. \u201cKnow what? What\u2019s going on?\u201d\n\n

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Daniel leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. \u201cSix years ago, my sister Fiona came to us with a request. Do you remember how long she and Jack had been trying to have a baby?\u201d\n\n

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\u201cYour sister? What does she have to do with this?\u201d\n\n

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\u201cThe fertility treatments weren\u2019t working. The IVF failed three times,\u201d he swallowed hard. \u201cShe asked if you would consider being her surrogate. And you said\u2026 yes.\u201d\n\n

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The world tilted sideways. \u201cNo. That\u2019s not\u2026 I would remember that. A pregnancy? Being a surrogate? No, I wouldn\u2019t\u2014\u201d\n\n

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\u201cYou were so determined to help her, Angel. You said it was the greatest gift you could give your sister-in-law. The pregnancy went perfectly. You were glowing and so happy to be helping them. But when the baby was was born\u2014\u201d\n\n

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Dr. Peters spoke up. \u201cYou experienced a severe psychological break after delivery, Angela. The maternal hormones and bonding process were stronger than anyone anticipated. You refused to let go of the baby. When they tried to take him to Fiona, you became hysterical.\u201d\n\n

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I pressed my hands against my temples. \u201cStop. Please stop.\u201d\n\n

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\u201cYour mind protected itself,\u201d Dr. Peters explained gently. \u201cIt\u2019s called dissociative amnesia. Your psyche built a wall around the memories to shield you from the trauma of the separation. In cases of severe emotional distress, the mind can\u2014\u201d\n\n

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\u201cYou\u2019re telling me I forgot an entire pregnancy? A whole baby? That\u2019s not possible! I would know. My body would know. My heart would know.\u201d\n\n

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\u201cAngel,\u201d Daniel reached for my hand. But I jerked away so violently my chair scraped against the floor.\n\n

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\"Portrait\n\n\n\n
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\u201cDon\u2019t touch me! You knew? All this time, you knew? Every time we talked about maybe having kids someday, every time we walked past a baby store\u2026 you knew I had carried a child? Given birth? And given him away like he was some freaking toy?\u201d\n\n

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\u201cWhere is he?\u201d I demanded, my throat raw and eyes red-rimmed from crying.\n\n

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\u201cFiona moved to the countryside shortly after. The doctors thought the distance would help you recover.\u201d\n\n

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\u201cSo everyone just decided?\u201d I laughed. \u201cEveryone just chose to let me forget my own\u2014\u201d I couldn\u2019t say the word. Couldn\u2019t acknowledge what I\u2019d lost. \u201cSix years? Six birthdays, first steps, first words?\u201d\n\n

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\u201cWe thought we were protecting you.\u201d\n\n

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\u201cBy lying? By watching me live in ignorance? Did you all get together and plan this? Have meetings about how to keep me in the dark?\u201d\n\n

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\u201cBy letting you heal,\u201d Dr. Peters interjected softly. \u201cThe mind can only handle so much pain, Angela. Your psyche chose this path for a reason.\u201d\n\n

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I dashed out of the hospital as fast as my legs could carry me. Daniel caught up, ushering me into the car. I was a total mess. My fragile heart was shattered beyond repair.\n\n

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That night, I slept in our guest room, surrounded by the photos.\n\n

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I studied each one until my eyes burned, trying to force my mind to remember. The way I touched his tiny face. The tears on my cheeks. The love in my eyes.\n\n

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I pressed my hand against my stomach, trying to imagine him there, growing, moving, being part of me. But nothing came back. Nothing.\n\n

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\u201cCan we see him?\u201d I asked Daniel the next day.\n\n

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\u201cWe should probably ask Fiona first,\u201d he said, his voice uncertain. \u201cBut if you\u2019re sure, I think she\u2019ll be okay with it.\u201d\n\n

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It took a week to convince Fiona to let us visit. Seven days of negotiations through Daniel, because I couldn\u2019t bear to speak to her directly. Not yet.\n\n

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How do you talk to someone who has your child? Who took your child?\n\n

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After countless phone calls and messages, Fiona finally agreed.\n\n

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The drive to the countryside was endless. I watched the landscape change through the window, each mile bringing me closer to a truth I wasn\u2019t sure I could face.\n\n

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Fields gave way to forests, forests to suburbs. All the while, my mind spun with questions.\n\n

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Would he look like me? Would some part of him recognize me? Would I feel anything at all? Would he come running to me?\n\n

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\"Aerial\n\n\n\n
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Fiona\u2019s house was everything I\u2019d imagined during those sleepless nights. Perfect lawn, flowers in window boxes, a red bicycle leaning against the porch, and a tire swing. Wind chimes tinkled softly and the delicious smell of something cooking wafted in the air.\n\n

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My legs shook so badly I could barely walk to the door.\n\n

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Fiona stood there, just as I remembered her from the family pictures. But her eyes were cautious, teary, and guarded, like a watchful mother\u2019s.\n\n

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\u201cAngela,\u201d she said softly. \u201cCome in.\u201d\n\n

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My gaze swept across the room, searching for the little one who held the key to my forgotten past.\n\n

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And there he was, peeking around the corner. Dark curls like mine and those familiar eyes. My heart squeezed so tight I couldn\u2019t breathe.\n\n

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My son! My baby!\u00a0I longed to scream, to run to him, to hold him tight. But I stood rooted to the spot, numb with heartache.\n\n

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\u201cTommy,\u201d Fiona called, \u201ccome meet your Aunt Angela.\u201d\n\n

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He approached shyly, a toy dinosaur clutched in one hand. \u201cHello, Aunt Angela.\u201d\n\n

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\u201cHello, Tommy!\u201d I said, his name feeling like a prayer on my tongue.\n\n

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He studied me with those big, brown eyes, head tilted slightly. \u201cWant to see my room? I have a bunk bed! And a T-Rex that roars when you push its belly.\u201d\n\n

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\u201cI\u2019d love that, sweetie.\u201d\n\n

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As he led me upstairs, chattering about his dinosaur collection and his best friend Jake and how he could ride his bike without training wheels now, I felt it.\n\n

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Not a memory exactly, but an echo. A ghost of what we might have been. Of all the moments I should have had.\n\n

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Later that night, in our hotel room, I took out the photos one last time. The woman in them wasn\u2019t a stranger anymore. I understood her joy, her pain, and her sacrifice even if I couldn\u2019t remember feeling them myself.\n\n

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I touched the image of the baby, my finger tracing his tiny photostatic features.\n\n

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\u201cYou okay?\u201d Daniel asked from the doorway.\n\n

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\u201cNo. But I think I will be.\u201d\n\n

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I slipped the photos back into an envelope. Some memories might stay lost and buried under years of protective fog. But now I had something more precious than memories: I had truth. And somehow, in that truth, I found the peace I didn\u2019t know I\u2019d been missing.\n\n

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It would take time to fully come to terms with my truth, but this was a step in the right direction.\n\n

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Here\u2019s another\u00a0story: A little orphaned boy was crying in the church, pleading with God to send his mother to take him. Then he heard a voice that answered from behind, \u201cI\u2019ll take you.\u201d\n\n

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This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.\n\n

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The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided \u201cas is,\u201d and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I opened a box of forgotten photos while cleaning the attic and found pictures of me holding a tiny newborn, my eyes brimming with love. But I\u2019d never been pregnant, let alone given birth. I decided to investigate, unaware I must face a truth that would shatter me to the core. A few weeks ago, […]\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":365,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-364","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/momentsunfolded.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/364","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/momentsunfolded.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/momentsunfolded.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/momentsunfolded.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/momentsunfolded.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=364"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/momentsunfolded.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/364\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":366,"href":"https:\/\/momentsunfolded.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/364\/revisions\/366"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/momentsunfolded.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/365"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/momentsunfolded.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/momentsunfolded.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/momentsunfolded.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}